Self-love = Self-care

Giving yourself what you deserve, from the inside out, is also self-love.

We find ourselves in an era of energy overload. Every day, we're overwhelmed by more and more activities, turning us into multitaskers , capable of solving each new task here and there, almost unconsciously... And I say unconsciously because, without realizing it, some of us live in the constant dynamic of demanding things from ourselves every day at work, at home, in our social lives; whether as mothers, fathers, children, students, homemakers, entrepreneurs, employees, etc.

The world, immersed in its constant evolution and competition, is always leading us toward something more to do , something more to give ; to the point that we often feel we're achieving everything with extra effort, but also with that feeling or guilt of "not giving enough . "

I think this is exactly what's happening to us: we don't give enough, and we won't give enough, because as the planet advances, nothing will ever be absolutely enough or sufficient. If we aren't aware of this, or if we don't prepare ourselves to respond to this reality, each new task or action imposed by society will only make that ball of internal energy recharge grow larger, until it explodes . 

By this, I don't mean we should stop doing what they call "going the extra mile." No. First, because I'm convinced that putting in the effort leads us to excellence; and second, because it's cited in one of the most powerful books on transformation and growth:

“Always do the best you can. If you always do the best you can, you will never reproach yourself or regret anything.” —Dr. Miguel Ruiz in his book titled “The Four Agreements.”

So that's what it's all about: doing the best you can in this life , but I add: don't forget yourself as the priority. Start by giving the best you can to yourself, and then do the same to everything around you. Only in this way can you contribute to your true balance.

So, if you're still reading this article, I hope that from now on you'll consider "insufficient" a term worth rethinking when it comes to labeling your daily actions. If you internalize it this way, you'll open up space in your conscious mind for self-care , for those activities you can do for yourself, for your own personal and emotional well-being. Ultimately, you'll focus on those small actions that will give you a positive energy boost to find balance and embrace the new and old tasks of your day.

The daily choice to prioritize self-care can lead us to an experience of self-love and wholeness—Dr. Kelly Brogan

How to achieve a balance?

You're probably wondering, How am I going to balance my daily multitasking with self-care if I don't have enough time? Then let me tell you this: It is absolutely possible to balance what we do for ourselves and what we do for others because self-love has nothing to do with time .

Self-care isn't a task; it's a state, a condition of life. It's ultimately the experience of valuing yourself in the midst of everything. It's honoring the essence of your being.

Today, many psychologists and life coaches encourage their patients to embrace self-care as a way to heal their emotions and find balance and happiness.

"Balancing self-love and caring for others begins with recognizing and accepting that you can do both effectively. Self-love at the soul level is the catalyst for healing on all levels, which in turn boosts our self-esteem," says Teigan Draig, spiritual life coach and busy mom in Ohio.

This reminds us that prioritizing ourselves isn't selfish, but rather an emotional need that helps us break out of the cycle of self-destructive thoughts and self-sabotage.

“The first step to finding your fire is learning to love yourself. Self-care and self-love are a total package of well-being.”

What are the benefits of self-care?

There is a long list of benefits that practicing self-care or self-love gives us, however the ones I consider most relevant are:

• Feeling of Peace.
• Greater security.
• Harmony in our interpersonal relationships.
• Greater relaxation.
• Our creativity is stimulated.
• Improves concentration.
• Increase productivity.
• Reduces irritability, anger, fear, shame, guilt, stress.

 

“Self-care is essential for us to turn down the volume of inner criticism, stop pleasing people, and make choices that honor us,” Hassler said.

How to practice it?

Start with baby steps. Little by little, small actions or self-care exercises throughout the day will bring benefits from practicing Self-Love, until the new belief that we are absolutely deserving of these benefits is embedded in the subconscious.

Set your own boundaries and those you trust with others. Create a comfortable space, completely to your liking, where you can take a few minutes to breathe, close your eyes, dream, and remind yourself that you came into this world primarily to be happy , to be and co-create love. This will help you embrace each new day with positivity, acceptance, and clarity, no matter what happens.

Surrender to the desires that come directly from your heart, far from your ego. Surrendering ourselves involves removing the masks that have been unconsciously imposed on us by society, competitiveness, paradigms, or by past experiences that have shaped us. Recognize them, visualize yourself stripping away everything that prevents you from acting naturally, remove every veil that camouflages itself by superficially adorning your essence to make you fit in with others, remove every veil that prevents you from being who you are, those that sometimes force you to say "yes" when you really want to say "no."

Hold on to your desires and expectations above all else, and value every second as an opportunity to give yourself what your heart deserves.

Small actions to practice self-care = Self-love:

• Create a playlist of your favorite songs that remind you of your true worth and name it "Self-Love." Listen to it for a few minutes while you're commuting, or organizing your home or office.
  
• Experience the cool breeze or wind, close your eyes and feel it touch every part of your face.
• Start the day by treating yourself to a healthy and sufficient breakfast.
• While you bathe, close your eyes and imagine the water running over your body, washing your worries, fears, and bad thoughts down the drain.
• Set your phone to silent mode at least an hour before bed. Disconnect from technology and instead use that time for yourself, whether it's writing down positive aspects of your day, listening to relaxing music, coloring, or reading.
• Get yourself a journal or pocket notebook. On the first page, write about your greatest desire. Write down what you're willing to do over the next three years to achieve it. Keep it within easy reach and read it every day. Also use it to write down your daily intentions, ideas, or positive thoughts.
• Assign a coffee or tea mug with your favorite motivational quote for your especially hectic days.
• Buy flowers to place in your workspace or home.
• Set positive intentions for what you will do today.
• Wear your favorite jewelry or clothes. Don't wait for a "special" occasion. Create the occasion.
• Instead of creating a long list of small tasks, create a list of no more than five truly important tasks per day. You'll feel satisfied when you accomplish them all.
• Assign a nice picture frame with a loved one's photo to keep within easy reach, and in a very hectic moment, pause and look at it for at least a minute. Breathe. Be grateful for the unconditional love .
• Take 10 minutes to stretch your shoulders, arms, neck, and back for at least a few minutes.
• In your moments of rest, enjoy them outdoors. Experience the blessing that so few have of being able to appreciate the sky or plants. Listen. Breathe.
• Choose a shower gel with a pleasant, refreshing scent and take a long bath with relaxing music at least once a week.
• Connect with your God or that higher energy in the morning by using music to praise or sing to Him.
• Light a candle or incense with a soft scent, breathe, close your eyes while giving thanks.
• Do some light, non-strenuous physical training if you're just starting out. This will help you stay fit for the next day, without feeling uncomfortable or exhausted. Listen to your body.

Remember that only you set the limits. It's time to act in your favor and become the best version of yourself, for yourself.

I invite you to the 20 Days of Self-Love Challenge. Download our free guide here.